Friday, August 31, 2007

The Sketching-ing 1.0

And then I sketched up some ideas for the General Lee with a Robo-Bow™ Since the Duke boys can't use firearms as part of their probation. When finished, this moon-shine powered hillbilly road rocket will tear outta it's secret base in Hazard County to protect the world from Dekx and his stupid Celebrity Car robots.

Namely Titanic. As Dekx said, Titanic is from Trapper John. MD. A cruddy "spin-off" of M*A*S*H* where they didn't even get the same actor to play Trapper. Aparently this hunk of shit is WAY mor recognizable than S&H's Gran Turino. But no one can find any pictures of Titanic on the InterWeb. Maybe when Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson make a movie version...

I did make him a pretty awesome robot. Too bad it turns into a crappy old RV. Thanks Dekx. Thanks a lot.

The Competition-ing 2.1

Nobody's going to argue that the robot doesn't look bad ass. But if you saw all five cars driving in formation on their way to a rumble, you wouldn't be able to chump up all the way because you'd be distracted by the one vehicle you vaguely recognized from some show senior citizens MIGHT remember if you injected them with a massive suringe full of a Ritalin/L-Dopa cocktail.

The Competition-ing 2.0

So, I'm all stoked about the team of TV car robots I'm about to build, and Dekx has to take a giant crap all over it just because he doesn't like Starsky and Hutch. First he tries telling me that it's from the wrong decade, even though the Batmobile is older. Then he tries telling me he thought I was talking about the cartoon batmobile from the Super Friends or some shit like that. I wonder why I haven't kicked this guy in the neck already!
Anyway. I had sent him a sketch of the Batmobile and Bot a few days before, so I knew that he was either just playing stupid, or just plain stupid. Either way, I have to kill him.

So I angrily drew up a sketch of this bad ass robot.
Someday, I want to draw it in Starsky mode. It will basically turn into a robot form of Paul Michael Glaser, with big hair and crappy coat.

The Competition-ing

MothBot and I work in the same very large company. He works across the hall from one of his other good friends and former co-worker. They had an idea for an awesome line of Transformers, despite what would certainly be an EPIC licensing nightmare: Famous cars from T.V. shows. Mothy came to my cube all aflutter with excitement. After laying down the initial concept, he had me aflutter AND atwitter, which is pretty uncommon for me. Then he gave me the five cars he thought would make some of the greatest Transformers in history:

*K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider - Activate Super Persuit Mode, bitches!!!
*The Batmobile - Holy Batmobile, Batman!!
*The A-Team van - I love it when a plan comes together.
*The General Lee - Meanwhile, back at the farm, Uncle Jesse was looking at a tittie mag....
*The El Torino from Starsky and Hutch - *record scratch* Wait...what? Who the hell can identify with the El Torino from S & H? That's a little obscure given the immediate recognition factor of the other four vehicles. Following is an exerpt from this discussion.

Dekx: "Eh...the El Torino is kinda' weak. Nobody knows that car, and if they do it's because of the movie, not the show."

MothBot: "Whatever! It's an awesome car and nobody likes you! You're a horrible person and you smell of all types of cheese and undergarment stains!!"

D: "I would replace that one with The Titanic, Gonzo's R.V. in Trapper John, M.D."

M: "WAAAAGH!! I hate you so much right now!!!"

And on and on like that. Ultimately, I realized that I would have to make a more awesome series of T.V. show cars that would kick Mothy's ass into submission. And so began...

The Lisencing Nightmare

To Be Continued....

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Beginning-ing....

In The Beginning-ing, there were nerds: Mighty Robot and Zombie nerds with only desires to infect, self-replicate, and occasionally dry-hump stuff. But soon there came a time when so many nerds roamed the earth that they began to war. Robot assimilated Robot, Zombie ate Zombie, and there was strife and so forth. Arguments that not only had a marginal basis in reality, but were also completely pointless raged across the lands. Each nerd developed scientific principles and technology to better wage their wars. And so it was that the Rectum Scale was developed as a measurement of how gay a thing was, nerds invented a laser that would only burn paper containing Rob Leifeld drawings, a time machine was created that would only follow alternate time lines of science fiction television shows, and many other incredible feats of marvel were achieved.

The Nerd Havoc, as it would one day be called, was coming to a dangerous, if somewhat gangly and out of shape head. The world was nearing its end. But there was one Robot and one Zombie who did not carry hatred in their hearts, but only tender, semihetero, he-love for each the other. Together they spread a message of peace and understanding. They spread a message urging the world's nerds to join forces - not unlike issue #76 of World's Finest Comics in which Superman and Batman team up to save Lois Lane from the roof of a burning building - and stop atrocities like Star Trek: Voyager.

Despite hitting a solid 6.5 on the Rectum Scale, these two prophets became well known and venerated through out every nation on Earth. Wars about who actually wrote the screenplays for Episodes IV, V and VI ceased. Nerds no longer stabbed and gouged each other to resolve whether or not a Delorian was the appropriate means of time travel. And the Hanna-Barbara Genocide came to an end.

It was a time of peace and prosperity.

It was a time when geeks, nerds, weirdoes, and freaks laid down their arms and decided to run Shadow Labs together in the name of fraternal honor and respect.

It was the time when... Robot Loved Zombie