Thursday, June 3, 2010

There Can Be...Only One....

In the beginning, a quarter century ago, there were many. Four of them joined forces and samurai swords to thwart their nemeses like Dana Plato and Gary Coleman and yes, even George Peppard. But there are no guarantees in life nor in death. They knew that their truce must eventually come to an end, that their own heads would one day roll. And so it was that eventually even the mighty fell in a head-chopped-off-by-a-samurai-sword kind of way. Where four used to rule, strict but fair and bushido-y, only one remains. She is immortal and no man can be her equal. She is...

THE GOLDEN HIGHLANDER!!


Betty White is the sole remaining Golden Girl. She is now powerful enough to face her one-time lover, Mr. T, in mortal combat. In Japan. On top of a hill. Crested with cherry blossoms. At dusk. Before the ocean. With a fire going. And maybe some s'mores beforehand. TO THE DEATH!!


Cue the Queen, bitches, it's ON!! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!