Wednesday, November 30, 2011

X-MAS Update 2011


2011 Christmas update and reminder to Chakakahnistan's rules regarding Christmas. Previously Posted

1. No Christmas sales and such until the week before Christmas.
New Exception for 2011!!!!
Wal-Mart can have Black Friday riots whenever they want! Watching a bunch of desperate and stupid cheapskates stampede, pepper spray and bludgeon each other was like an early christmas present. Whoa! Nothing like seeing Capitalism and Darwinism working together.

2. No Christmas carols until December 23rd. Seriously! A couple of local radio stations started playing christmas songs not long after Halloween. 24-7 craptacular crap.

3. During the allowed Christmas season, there are only about 10 or 20 accepted christmas carols that can be played. Most likely if it's one you really like and have loved ever since you had to sing it for 3rd grade christmas pageant, then it's not allowed. 

4. The "Official" Christmas Carols of Chakakahnistan: White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby or Little Drummer Boy sung by Crosby and David Bowie. All country, hip-hop, or rock versions of Christmas Carols are NOT ALLOWED!

4-A. Last Christmas by Wham and The Christmas in Africa fundraiser song are acceptable to MOTHbot but not to Dekx. Be careful which one of us you are closest to when you start humming one of these.

7. The official Movie of Christmas will be "Apocalypse Now". The second official movie will be "A Christmas Story". No Exceptions. These are to be watched non-stop, simultaneously, around the clock from Dec 23rd to Dec 26th. Anyone found not watching will be found guilty of treason.

8. Santa Claus will be played by either Marlon Brando, Harvey Keitel or Chuck D.

9. Every friday will be "Wicked Awful Christmas Sweater Day" Acceptable clothing will consist of only the most horrible of sweaters with christmas kittens, penguins, nativity scenes, and puppies. Even better if it's a nativity scene with cats and a baby jesus-kitten. The uglier the better.

We'll update when we come up with more rules. And remember: the penalty for violating any of these rules is death. Now, SUBMIT!!!