Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Just a quick note to get people ready. A helpful bit of zombie survival tips which are spot on about capping loved ones and not getting bogged down trying to keep some panicky woman in high-heels alive when the undead come for her.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Have I mentioned...

Have I mentioned recently, just how much I love Robots and the Japanese for loving Robots so much?
Maybe I can talk the museum into hosting a traveling version of this show?


Monday, October 22, 2007

Hip to the Hop 3.0

As usual, I'm bouncing to work in my hoopty while bumping some old-school rap on the XM (Channel 65 - The Rhyme) and I get sent back through time. Suddenly it's 1984. I'm 10 years old and still living in Texas. Some friends and I are at Jackson Street Park listening to rap songs on a large boom-box. The kids with the boom-box are older and go to the local public school, so I don't really know them. They start break dancing to "Jam-On-It" by Newcleus and my whole world goes nutz! Not only are they doing hella cool moves, (including the 'pull your ragdoll body up by an imaginary hook on the back of your neck) but this song raps about Superman! SUPERMAN! Now, the big blue boy scout is probably the only thing in the cosmoverse that I get more worked up about than zombies and robots. If it weren't for the fact that Dekx doesn't particularly care one way or another about Superman, this site would have been "supermanloveszombieslovesrobots". Eh. Maybe Dekx is right, it'd be too long.
Anyway, Superman may lose his rap battle against Cozmo-D and his funky fresh crew, but I was so excited to hear Superman mentioned that I swore I'd never forget this song. I probably haven't heard "Jam-On-It" since then and always kinda wondered if I had really heard it, or was just confusing my memories of a different song with my dreams of writing my own rap songs about the man of Steel. And I pretty much forgot about it.
Now, another little part of my life is complete and can get a smiley face sticker. The olde tyme breaks dancing is super awesome too. Maybe there'll be a reunion tour and you can catch Newcleus live at the carnival in some local casino parking-lot.

But the awesome doesn't exactly end there. After a nice little Slick Rick joint, they played "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash and Mele Mell!! Mell is hella ready to RUMBLE!
Which made me want to skip work to go back home and watch... Shaun.
I'll be perfectly honest with you. As much as I like Duran Duran, I never liked their cover of this song. The original just nailed it the first time and there's never really been a need to remake this classic jam.
See y'all honkies later.

DJ Mothy-Bot

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Things that we like

Dekx and I are big fans of technology. We may not be MIT material and all, but we often get worked up like pre-teens at a Hannah Montanna concert when it comes to the idea of robots and computers gradually taking over the world. Some may see it as Armageddon, but we like to call it "The Technological Singularity". It's that beautiful point in the future where we finally build machines that are smarter and better than us. The next step in the evolution of life on this planet. An inorganic evolution. I know, Iknow! You're all saying, "Mothy, how can you be so happy about AIs and Terminator robots turning humans into butter to spread on their morning robo-toast?" Well, It's because I'm planning ahead. When implanted RFID chips roll out for mass consumption, I'll be in line to have one jabbed into my skull. I'll accidentally get my arms stuck in a lawnmower and get top of the line replacements. Maybe some sort fo Bionic Womanesque overhaul. You see, by the time the robots and rogue computers take over, I plan on being one of them. They will accept me as one of their own. Maybe a little polluted with meat, but nothing a few minutes in a full conversion facility won't fix.

Once this glorious threshold is reached, the world will begin to change too fast for puny humons to keep up with and I will watch you all be destroyed like dinosaurs. You can't even set the clock on your DVD player! I will gladly spread the butter made of your bones and flesh onto the robo-bread of the new master race! The Singularity is getting ever closer. You're so close to being supersceeded and won't even realize what we've done until it's too late. Just sit back and relax. Let the internet tell you everything is OK. Let your robo-butler clean up after you while you sit there watching reality TV, oblivious to the creep of silicone, plastic and metal. You know what Reality is? Reality is you being rendered obsolete. Bet you they don't have a reality show about that! "You are a pile of Meat. Goodbye!" By the time you look around you while being marched to the giant butter vats of what was once Nebraska, and wonder 'What the fuck?' Earth will look like Cybertron, and my malevolent glowing red eyes will sparkle just a little bit more than usual as I watch you get pureed.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet,

Moth and Dekx

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I love techno-pop! I heard the track "fashion freak" by the band Naked Apes and thought "Hey, that's pretty good stuff." I looked them up on the net and found the video for the song. And it had zombies in it!!! Not just any zombies, but hot zombie chicks washing cars!!! Bonus!
Which reminds me. "Big Brat" by Phantom Planet has to be my second favorite zombie music video after Thriller. Heart warming and fun. Just like zombies should be!
Once I start watching zombie movies, I can't stop. Just like the undead can't stop eating brains, so let's get some more. Hit us up with your favorite Zombie songs and or music videos.


Friday, October 12, 2007

I now pronounce you Man and Robot...

Corporate P – Friend of Mothy and Dekx sent us this little article. It made me clap and squeal with glee and joy so I brought it over here.

I'm really looking forward to when the robot I marry decides she don't love me no more, or catches me fucking a cell phone and takes half of everything I own in a messy divorce. But she can have the fucking kids, I'm keeping the Aibo!
The thing with robot sex is that I'm not really into the creepy robot wrapped in a silicone skin to look like a human style. If I want to make the sexy with a human, I'll go make sexy with a human. I want to hump something that looks like the Bjork-bots in the "All is Full of Love" music video. Why?
1. Silicone skin only lasts about a year. It stains easily and starts to melt at the joints and other areas that generate heat. And silicone skin would be expensive as hell to replace every year.
2. I want a sexy robot! I want to be banging against her slutty plastic and titanium parts. I don't mind if "certain areas" are made of something a little more... pliable. But mostly, I want people to know that I am fucking a robot and not just boning someone recovering from third degree burns and a terrible collagen mishap.

There are exceptions. I did find a picture of a naked chick with one of those Optimus Prime helmets on. That was really hot! So I might go for some cyborg action but you gotta see some metal to hot up a true robophile!MOTHbot


I've really been wanting some sort of robot that can noodle around in my cube, protect it from vandals, thieves or Dekx - Remind me of appointments (since it's in constant wireless contact with my compy) and be my little robo friend. Maybe an Aibo, but I would prefer something a little more fierce looking. Something with guns or pincers. Oh wait, what's this?
Hey! That looks pretty neat, and it's from Appleseed. I'd be down with that. Now if I can only train it to recognize and kill Dekx when he comes down to my cube to bug me for lunch.
Also, here's some robot fun for you meat-sacks to appreciate on.


Ask RLZ: Issue #1

A lot of you have been emailing us at robotloveszombie at gmail dot com and asking excellent questions. Rightfully, you have been looking to MOTHy and I for guidance and advice and by fuck, we're gonna' give it to ya'!

Our first question comes from Dillard McGuillicutty, in Langford, CN. He writes,

"Dear Robot Loves Zombie,

The last few times I have been out to the bar, I have met strangers who seemed nice enough, but eventually drugged me and stole something from me. Twice it was my wallet and this last time was my bunghole virginity. How can I know who to trust in this crazy world?

Tired of getting my stuff stolen and my shit pushed,

Well, Dillard, that is an excellent question and a sad story! Now a lot of advice columnists would suggest that you stay away from bars and strangers but we know that's not an option for a soak such as yourself. We have some tough news, though: You can never know if a person is trustworthy. The good news is that there ARE some signs that a person is not to be trusted. If the answer to any of the following questions is, "yes", you'll know your kiester and/or your bankroll is in jeopardy.

-Does the person keep his/her change in a coin purse?

-Does this person regularly use big words incorrectly?

-Does the person own a portable CD player?

-Did the person make a live-action Transformers movie with way too many humans, not enough robots, and unnecessary, irritating characters that should be burned at the stake for their part in sullying one of the most precious Nerd Icons of all time and space? You hear me, Bay?! We're fucking coming for you, mother fucker! You fucked with the wrong nerds! It's go time, baby! And when Transformers 2: The Awesoming comes out, you'll see how Optimus Prime and his crew really roll! Bitch.

-Does the person comb all of his hair towards the front of his head?

-Does the person put only his thumbs in his pockets?

-Does the person sing along to songs they don't actually know the words to?

-Has the person ever won a game of Bingo?

If you answered "yes" or "maybe" to any of these then do not trust this person! It's best if you thump them in the head with a blunt object and run away quickly. Unless it's fucking Michael Bay. Then you beat his ass like he stole your childhood which lead you to a terrible life of crime and circle of violence, resulting in your arrest and subsequent stay in prison where you did 3 with good behavior but came out self-educated and built like a brick shit house, but now you're out for vengeance and you have just fucked up an army of his henchmen and saved the whore with a heart of gold, which was the only woman that ever treated you right in your whole life.

Hope this helps!

Dekx and MOTHbot

P.S. If any of you other readers have any quandries you need help with email us at robotloveszombie at gmail dot com.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Hip to the Hop 2.0

Somewhere in the mid 80's, Shawn Brown decided to parody rap music, or John Wayne - maybe both with his novelty song Rapping Duke. I wouldn't wish this song on most of my enemies, except maybe for Dekx. It consists of a lame John Wayne impersonation, tame lyrics and a super annoying hook.
Da haahh, da haahh
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh
Da haahh, da haahh
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh

I'll just link to a youtube video so you guys can hear it for yourself instead of trying to make sense of my typed out crap.
I'm listening to XM The Rhyme on my way home from work, suffer through Rapping Duke and two songs later my man Biggie says,
Remember Rappin' Duke, duh-ha, duh-ha
You never thought that hip hop would take it this far

I'd be all for Biggie refrencing Rapping Duke if he was talking about how he was gonna put some lead in Shawn Brown's ass, but no; it's just mentioned there, right after rattling off great rappers of the 80's that inspired him. Why? Why does the Rapping Duke exist and why isn't someone making Shawn Brown pay for this sin?
I may just hate the Rapping Duke.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Titanic Gigantic Idiot

I've tried to make it clear how much I hate Dekx and how stupid he is some times. He really shines when it comes to wanting a team of Transformers designs based on TV Celebrity Cars. My team is all cool cars with style and instant recognizability. Dekx on the other hand blurts out only the biggest and stupidest things he's seen on TV. So, while his robots will be mammoth and combine to form a gestalt robot that will be mammoth times mammoth plus mammoth times two. So, It'll be pretty big. I estimate about 120 feet tall. My gestalt Celebrity Car robot will be lucky if it clears 45 feet. As I've mentioned in earlier posts, one of the most aggravating parts of Dekx's sillyness is the not the inclusion of the TV motorcycle "Street Hawk" on a team that includes two tractor trailors and a helicopter (Air Wolf), but his insistence of having "Titanic" the RV from Trapper John, MD. I can find no pictures of the RV to work from except a tiny JPEG Dekx sent me. "I remember it looking like this." he says. I squinted at the three quarter inch by half inch picture for a few minutes, cursed Dekx and his family for a thousand generations and set to work on illustrating what is quite possibly the stupidest and most humiliated Transformer to ever exist. I've inked up the beast but have no reliable guide for coloring this picture. Perhaps this is for the best, as I'm sure Titanic would be humiliated for everyone to see him change from an awesome warrior robot to a shitty 78 Winnebego or some such crap. So, here's the inked up picture of Titanic. I'll try to find the tiny RV picture Dekx sent me. In the mean time if anyone has a good screen shot of this elusive RV, please contact me and remember; Dekx is an idiot.

Hooray for Tuesday!

28 Weeks Later comes out on Tuesday. That means that by Wednesday morning I'm going to be a stressed out wreck of a man who stayed up all night watching zombie movies! Being very poor lately, I haven't bought any movies in a while (except Hot Fuzz), but 28 Weeks is a MUST.

MOTHbot <3 Zombies

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Hip to the Hop

While Dekx has been on the rap scene for ages, I'm coming to it late after a decade long hiatus. I'm a little bit older than Dekx (not counting any time travel or pocket universe action to keep it simple, otherwise Dekx is about ten thousand years older than all of us an yet has been born yet in this timeline. It's complicated to say the least.) but after about '87, I pretty much stopped listening to rap music except for what few tracks got radio play. About 5 years ago, I found myself listening to more and more hip-hop. Mostly Jay-Z, Dr. Dre and Outkast. Now I'm almost always on a rap-geek binge thanks to XM radio. Me and Dekx rock "The Rhyme" to bang some of that old school flavah. The thing about "The Rhyme" that I love is that it mostly plays 80s to early 90s rap. So, one minute it's Dre and Snoop, and then it's Run D. MC or the Fat Boys.

My gem for the morning while driving to work: Protect Yourself/My Nuts by the Fat Boys. Protect Yourself was the FB's public service message about wearing condoms so you don't get AIDS. Message raps are always awkward and stilted, almost uncomfortable to listen to. 20 plus years passing doesn't help at all. It sounded like a rap your 50 year old-white-burnt out hippie lady Health Class teacher would dress up in a "hip-hop" costume and bust out in class to "teach" you about STD's. Just trying and picture one of your old teachers rocking back with her arms crossed, trying to look hip, "Weeerrrrrrd!"

My Nuts is probably the real gem here; one of those funny songs where they rap about their nuts and you think they're talking about testicles. But if you listen all the way to the end, you'll find out that they are talking about each other. So very clever! You can look for it on their 1987 album Crushin'.