Friday, May 23, 2008

Ugly Betty is the Greatest Show EVER!!!!!

Before you get the torches and pitchforks, at least allow me to explain.
I was over at Girlfriend Central for snuggles and kisses last night and she was watching the season finale. I've seen one or two other episodes, and the show is always pretty funny, just not something I'd watch regularly. But this episode, this... masterpiece of TV...
Well, one of the storylines is about Betty's boss and how some little French kid shows up at the office and claims to be his son. While they get to know each other, Daniel (the boss) asks the kid if he likes movies. The kid says, in his soon to be adorable French accent, "I like zee Jonny Depp, Zee Matrix, ahnd, zee Tranzformers. Shia Labouf... Not goood, but Megan Fox... Haut!"
That's right, some little French bastard on Ugly Betty just dick punched Shia Labouf on a popular show that I'm sure 70 Billion people watch! This is the beginning. Soon, the whole world will hate the LaBouf as much as I do. Soon, the backlash will drive him running to drugs and booze and indiscriminate sex with loose women, men and animals and eventually his ingloriuos death at the hands of a transvestite hooker and a toothless badger high on crystal meth that whack him for rent money. I hope the badger makes balloon animals out of LaBouf's entrails. Soon, I will not fear going to the theatre only to find a movie ruined by "that spunky kid who won't shut UP!".
Has anyone seen the new Indiana Jones? Me neither.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Gestaltbot 9.0, Mothafuckaaaaas!!!

GREAT fucking news on the Gestaltbot Saga: I'm adding the corvettes stingray from the badass, one-season wonder, Stingray. Peep the strategy. I know what you're thinking and no, Stingray will not replace Nighthawk as the right arm. Instead, Stingray will turn INTO A STINGRAY and become the chest piece from which all the additional guns and lasers will rain death on this little bitch, MOTHbot and his pussy brigade. Recognize.

Forum? Or Against 'em?

While I'm stuck here on Earth, maintaining the Nation State Church of Chakakahinstan Incorporated, Dekx is on Planet Baracus getting things set up. Every once in a while Dekx will e-mail me about some Troll on the World of Warcraft forums. Usually Dekx will just e-mail me the newest brilliance from Mcstabberson and we'll have a good laugh. But I can't really stand reading actual forums or discussion threads, so I like just reading the one quote I need and not all the petty, juvenile dribble leading up to and following it.

Dekx: Check this out. It's got some great Mcstabbersons in it.*

*(Not and actual quote. Just getting the convo started)

MOTH: Next time, just send me the quote. I hate reading forums, and now that I see that this is where you spend the small percent of your life that you're not playing WOW, I'm even more ashamed to know you. Stupid forums.

Dekx: I’m not even going to faux Mcstab you. I’m just going to sit here and hate your limpwristed guts.

MOTH: I'm just saying... No, you're right. Go ahead with your hate. The McStabbins are way more funny to me when I don't have to read the rest of the forums. There's something pointless feeling about forums. They just feel so, futile, shallow and... whats another good word for pointless and futile? Or another word for "Wasted Life"?

Dekx: You’re a real bitch in the mornings.