Monday, May 3, 2010

George Clooney Hair

Some day I'm gonna' get me some George Clooney hair. Not actual hair from his head, but a stylish haircut reminiscent of George Clooney. Dashing George Clooney, ruggedly handsome George Clooney, suave and debonair George Clooney. There's just something about George Clooney....he's a ladies' man and he's a man's man. He's tough and he's macho and take-charge when he has to be. He is powerful like the rhinoceros. Yet, when the time is right, he's loving and caring, tender. If I had George Clooney hair, I'd be one step closer to the man I want to be....

But more importantly, George Clooney is rich. Filthy, stinking rich! He wipes his ass with $100 bills. He eats California condor egg omelets for breakfast and he cleans his teeth with an ivory, gold inlaid, jewel-encrusted tooth brush. If I had George Clooney hair I could be rich, too.

Because George Clooney has all this money he can better fit into this dog-eat-dog, topsy turvy world. He can get a cell phone. People will know he's George Clooney when he answers his phone with, "George Clooney here..."Because people should know you're important. George Clooney's important. That's why he's on the cover of People Magazine talking about what it's like to be in his 40s. People would know I'm important if I had George Clooney hair.

Money, fame and rugged good looks also attract the ladies. Beautiful ladies with silicone titties, collagen lips and bulimic thighs that don't even touch. George Clooney meets these beautiful women. George Clooney gets more ass than a public toilet. I'd get laid too, if only I had George Clooney hair....

4 comments:

NellBot said...

@Sarah: Ummmm what?

Brandon said...

Who is the crazy lady? :)

Pica Maloria said...

Sara's a spambot. Tried to click on her name to figger out who it is and received a warning of deceptive website. Might wanna erase her comment.
George Clooney would.

Dekx said...

DANGIT! Now it's just the same old people who always read my stuff. Thanks a lot, I guess. /sadpandapants